


Should Have

by stargazerlilith



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 16:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10193933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargazerlilith/pseuds/stargazerlilith
Summary: Edward should have known....





	

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: A bit darker that what I normally write.  It is centered around a narcissistic relationship. Hope you enjoy it. And a huge thank you to my awesome beta. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Wish I did. But, I do not have any rights to them at all.

Edward sighed. He knew this shouldn’t bother him. He was never enough, so why was this time different? He wearily picked himself up off the floor and made his way into the kitchen. He had heard the front door slam shut, he knew that Roy was gone.

At first, things seemed fine. The war was over, Al was whole again, and he had decided to stay in the military a bit longer to help Mustang achieve his goals. Grumman had begun paving the way so that one day Mustang would take over the  Führership.

He followed orders for the most part and helped clean up Amestris. Mustang still yelled about his expenditures, but he had grown up. He no longer ran head long into fights, tried to find more peaceful solutions but he had horrible luck.  Sometimes buildings blew up, sometimes he got hurt, but he always solved the problem at hand.

One of those yelling fights turned into a heated exchanged behind closed doors.  He could still remember the angry look on Mustang’s face as he pushed him against the door, shouting how irresponsible he was and how he could have died. Before he could even process that, Mustang kissed him. Not a slow loving kiss but a hard, unforgiving kiss with entirely too much teeth and tongue.  Things had escalated from there.

Their relationship changed at that point. They started to date in secret. Mustang—Roy would shower him with attention, love, and even gifts. At first the attention was unnerving, but then he needed it, craved it. When Roy asked him to move in and take their relationship to the next level, he couldn’t say  yes fast enough.

The first few months were the same as before. Roy showered him with love and made him feel special. At work they were still professional, but at home Roy showed him how much he mattered. He had always wanted to matter to someone. Al had Winry and, honestly, after everything that happened Ed still felt undeserving.  He was lucky that his brother was alive and happy. That was enough. He didn’t deserve to be happy because he almost lost his brother to his own stupidity.

So when Roy started to show him that he mattered, Ed jumped on it; he began to crave it.

However, after a few months of living together, things began to change. Roy changed. At least, he thinks he did. Maybe it was there all along and he was just too blind to see it.

Suddenly, the dinner he cooked could use just a bit more seasoning and are those onions in the sauce? And didn’t he know that Roy hated onions and watched as Roy stuck the meal he painstakingly made for him in the bin. 

Edward should have done the dishes properly so they wouldn’t need to be rewashed.  Should have made the bed just right so Roy can sleep soundly..  He should have known that shirt was too tight and what was he trying to do going to the store dressed like that? He  should have known that Roy would be home late and should have keep the food warm, waiting for him. He should have known cooking while Roy was sleeping would make his stomach queasy.  He should have known that his automail oil would ruin the sink. 

Edward closed his eyes and breathed in the aroma of the coffee he made. His fingers gripped the cup tightly as he fought back his despair. This time was different. He knew it. He knew it because he didn’t apologize a thousand different ways to Roy about some inane mistake he made. He didn’t try to fix it.

Roy had stood in the doorway casually with his onyx eyes, his arms folded across his chest, watching Edward tidy up their bedroom. Edward knew Roy could see the tension in his shoulders. But, that didn’t stop him. Nothing he did ever seemed right to Roy. He tried so hard to please the man, even their bedroom activities were not safe from his scrutiny. Roy constantly told him what he should have done better to get Roy off and that his own relief was not important, that he should just be happy to be there with him.

However, that’s not the point. Not this time, because Edward was straightening up the bottles holding pills that Roy was supposed to take but never did unless a doctor stated that his health was declining. Roy would pop a few pills for a bit until he felt better. He never thought about the implications of not taking care of his health. It’s funny, since Edward is the worse at taking care of himself. But, he loves the bastard, and wants him to be healthy. So, when he saw the pill bottles, he snorted. He couldn’t help it. Roy narrowed his eyes, his mouth set in a grim line. “And what pray tell, is so funny about my medicine, Edward?”

Edward turned around to find Roy staring at him with an unforgiving expression.  “That you are taking them, again. We both know it won’t last. You don’t give a damn about it, really. You just take enough to fucking feel better and then you’re done,” he growled as he watched Roy’s face contort with anger. 

He knew Roy was livid; he could almost taste it. He knew also that he spoke the truth, but Roy was a selfish bastard and only liked what was convenient for him.  “This is why, Edward, I don’t take my medicine in front you of you. You’re not supportive of it or me. You should have known that I have been taking it. You should have trusted me to take care of myself. Unlike you, who I know I can’t trust with taking care of himself,” Roy drawled in his usual deflective manner.

Edward stared at him in shock. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This man who told him every day what he should have done stated that he was not supportive. Who the fuck helped him when he was blind? Who the fuck was at the hospital after the assassination attempt? Who the fuck had to rush him to the hospital because he didn’t take his medication and was found passed out on the floor? Edward looked up to Roy and realized he had shouted everything that he was thinking feeling the heat rising in his face.  He could see Roy’s mind turning with everything he had just said. He watched as Roy turned on his heel and walked down the stairs, slamming the front door. He felt himself sink to the floor, tears stinging his eyes because he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

Edward shook his head and snapped himself out of what had happened only a few hours ago. He knew that he shouldn’t have said what he did, but maybe, he needed too.

Maybe, he deserved something better. Maybe, he should just pack up his belongings and leave. Al would welcome him back in Resembool, he could help around the shop with Winry until he found his footing. Maybe, he doesn’t need Roy after all. Maybe…

Edward gripped his cup tighter as he heard the front door close. He could smell the stink of a bar coming from Roy in waves. If he tried, he might even find the distinct smell of  cheap perfume; He was always the charmer.

He waited with  bated breath as Roy sauntered into the kitchen. Roy leaned in the doorway, observing him with a playful smirk on his lips. Roy sauntered over and bent over him, looking him dead in the eyes before kissing him soundly. 

As he gave into the kiss, Edward knew that he wouldn’t leave. He should Roy offered him nothing but heartache. Gave him just enough love to keep him around before ripping it to shreds over and over.

His heart lurched as he felt Roy straddle him, wrapping his arms around him, and securing himself to him.  Edward moaned into the kiss and pulled Roy closer.

Edward closed his eyes and let his head fall to Roy’s chest. Basking in the warmth of him. He wouldn’t see the smirk on Roy’s face or the flash of victory in his eyes. He wouldn’t realize that Roy never said sorry to him. No, Ed would stay with him… when he really should have left before it was too late.


End file.
